Another Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments of Telephone Conference Calls

I am the chairman, who booked the line and invited you to the call.

  1. Thou shalt have no other means of conducting spoken business with more than two people in more than one place, for thou workest in a cost-cutting environment.
  2. Thou shalt not book other meetings and drop out of the conference call for I, the chairman have, did booketh thy time for my meeting.
  3. Thou shalt not misinterpret the time of the conference call for the chairman will not repeat anything for anyone who dials in late.
  4. Remember thy conference call by keeping it holy. 6 hours you may work and do other things but the 7th is the conference call when you dial in. During it you will do no other work, not checking email or talking to colleagues, using thy keyboard or thy mouse.
  5. Honour thy mute button so that you may not annoy thy colleagues.
  6. Thou shalt not breathe heavily into thy telephone or headset.
  7. Thou shalt not dial in from a car, train or noisy street.
  8. Thou shalt not dial in from your mobile whilst on the toilet.
  9. Thou shalt not deviate from the agenda.
  10. Thou shalt not come to the next meeting having not completed, or attempted your actions.

Guess what ruined my day today?!

They’re simple things, but boy, if people would just have a little respect, we could conduct business far more efficiently.