FACT: I love my family to bits. This is satire. It helped me laugh my way through the morning. It may or may not reflect the reality of our morning routine.
- NO CLOTHES!! It’s a ‘green day’ and all the green jumpers are in the wash. Go back three spaces while you negotiate
- THE WRONG BREAKFAST!! You bought the wrong brand of cereal in the supermarket. Tears ensure. Go back 2 spaces.
- NEED A POO!! *sigh* Go back 10 spaces
- RAIN!! Wife needs the car. Spend 5 minutes freaking out about how to get all the right things to all the right places. Go back 4 spaces
- ROAD CLOSURE!! How do we get to nursery NOW? GO back 5 spaces
- DRESSED!! LOOK DADDY, I got dressed ALL BY MYSELF. Move forward 3 spaces
- SPEW!! Baby throws up on your trousers. Go back 5 spaces]
- NAPPY CHANGE!! Poomageddon! Go back 10 spaces